...full on leg stump, tickled away happily...

It's been too long, readers. My apologies. I'm going to make a promise to myself that I'll put something - anything - down here each Thursday evening (Australia time).

And in advance, apologies. I have a flu (maybe THE flu, but they're no longer testing moderate cases) so my head is full of snot, my bloodstream full of LemSip (Australian NeoCitron, my Canada dwelling readers) and my belly full of scotch. Coherence is not only not guaranteed, it's not to be expected.

So...

It's really winter here.

Of course, not the 40 below, snowy and windy jaws of hell winter I'm still trying unsuccessfully to erase from my memory, but a wet and chilly 10 degree winter, dipping down to maybe 4 or 5 at night. Still above freezing, but uncomfortable.

However, with the aforementioned scotch, and a fire in the fireplace, the only real annoyance is the fleet of moronic twats driving the roads that are abso-fucking-lutely convinced that it's necessary to slow to 30 km/hr on the gentlest of sloping curves, lest they careen out of control into another moronic twat.

God. I learned to drive on streets deep with snow where a four wheel drift on a corner was not only expected, but desirous. Sped up the cornering process by at least a factor of three. And was monstrously fun.

Slowing down on a damp road (not a WET road. Not a chance of hydroplaning at ALL) is like chewing pudding. Pointless and a bit silly. And makes you look like a moronic twat.

--oOo--

Speaking of silly, it's Ashes time again.

The Ashes, for the 98% of the global population that doesn't follow Cricket, is the biennial Test cricket series played between England and Australia. It is comprised of 5 Test matches, each 5 days long.

Yup.

Five days a game. I'm not going to even start to try and explain the game. Better you read about The Ashes here and test cricket in general here.

This year it's in England. The last series, in Australia was held during the Australian summer of 2006/2007 and Australia won all five matches.

I say this sport is silly, and difficult for a newcomer to understand, because of commentary like this (all taken from the BBC web site):

"Drifty-drifty from North, gently onto leg stump, and Strauss could sweep that in his sleep. The twirler then strays the other way and is driven beautifully for four more."

"...he flicks a Johnson half-volley high over square leg for four, and then goes down on one knee to flay one wide of off through cover for a dreamy, dreamy repeater."

"Siddle short and wide, slashed away effortlessly by Strauss for four behind square; next ball, full on leg stump, tickled away happily for four more. And then Haddin spills another easy take behind the timbers. It's Cardiff reversed."

I mean, what the hell? I know they are all words found commonly in the English language, and individually I can give definitions for most of them. Strung together in that particular order, though...haven't the foggiest.

But I'll continue to watch - at times.

First test, in Cardiff, was a draw (because after two innings England had scored more runs than Australia, but Australia ran out of time and couldn't get back up to bat their second inning. Makes perfect sense.)

Second Test is at the Lord's cricket ground in London. As I write, England is batting first and have 245 runs with 2 outs (they get up to 10 'out'). This is good, but ultimately means nothing. I think.

So, another log on the fire, top up the scotch, and back to the book.

Later, all...