10 things people STILL believe, and it blows my freaking mind.

Ten things people still believe, and it blows my mind:

1) Creationism. That the Earth, no, the Universe, was created in six days, the seventh used for a game of golf. (What was the foursome? The holy Trinity and who else?). Apparently Creationists believe the world/universe was built a mere 10,000 years ago, or so. Especially curious this because there are fossil-y things that are a fuck of a lot older. Apparently there's an argument that the "Creator" made them look that old.

Why?

Really, why? What earthly purpose would there be to create shit that looked eons older than the lump of dirt that that thing was buried in? There is absolutely no explanation that satisfies that one.

2) In a similar vein, the "afterlife". Come on, really. Who are you kidding? This is the ultimate boogie man, a creature we should have grown out of before our 10th birthday. If you're good, heaven awaits (descriptions vary). Naughties go to hell (for a full description see Dante -- apparently he's been there. It's pretty well mapped out. Better than the other place. Makes you wonder). Personally, I believe that when I die, my organs will be harvested, per my instructions, I'll be cremated, per my instructions, and my ashes sprinkled over the local nude beach. That's MY afterlife.

2a) The ability to talk to those IN the afterlife. John Edwards has made a good living off his ability to guess regular folks stuff in a really vague and wishy-washy manner. "I'm getting the letter N". Really? One of the more common letters in the alphabet? I'd be impressed if he said "Does the letter 'X' mean anything to you?" And the person said "Yes! Xavier was my great uncles third cousins half sister." But no, it's always N or M or T.

3) In a similar, similar vein, ghosts. Demi Moore is cute (sorry, Mrs Kutcher is cute) but that movie was totally unbelievable. Vacuous, vaporous spirits wandering the earth because they can't get to the 'other side'. I thought we established there was no other side. Dead is dead. Not dead is not dead. There is no dead but not dead.

4) Starbucks is good value for money. This is a biggie. In the United States there's a Starbucks for every 14.3 residents (includes illegals). A Venti half-caf skim Cap is not only a shitty tasting brew, it costs in the neighbourhood of $8.00. For that amount of green I can buy a bag of ALREADY GROUND coffee that will provide for me, with very little effort, twenty venti cups. By the way. Venti? That's Italian for 20. What's that supposed to mean?

5) Dane Cook is funny. He isn't

6) Good blended malt scotch can be as good as single malt scotch. It can't.

7) There is a group of really special people that can see the future. Ha! They would put the lottery business under in a week. I had a 'psychic' tell me, in 1992, that I would be running my own business making cabinets by the year 2000. Slight miss. But I was wearing work boots, jeans and a denim jacket. Maybe I looked the part.

8) Jack Bauer is real. If only.

9) (and this MAY allow me to check out Dante's architectural plans) the supreme being. Deity. Creator. (kinda ties in with point 1. Good callback, eh?) I thought we were descendants of aliens (sorry, getting ahead of myself). I have a difficult time believing that there's a grand architect that a) knows what we're doing and b) judges us accordingly. Wait. That's Santa!

10) Aliens. Hmmmm. Green men, crashing space craft in Nevada...and why do ALL of the aliens seem to land in the States? I haven't heard of a single one landing in Bhutan. Well, that's a bad choice. Very hilly. No really good landing spots. Okay. You never hear of green-skinned googly-eyed visitors from a star way far away landing in the Congo. Wouldn't THAT fuck them up?

Bottom line, we are small, insignificant lumps of flesh, on a tiny planet, orbiting a mediocre star in one of a multitude of galaxies, capable of creating beautiful art, soaring symphonies, mind blowing technology, all in the real world. Accept THAT.